Fights with friends, pressure over schoolwork, family situations, body changes can swirl around in young minds long after adults think the day’s problems have passed. At night, when distractions fade and the mind winds down, those worries often arise. This can lead to difficulty falling asleep, frequent wake-ups, and emotional meltdowns that appear to come “out of nowhere”.
Most parents want to help, so they jump in by reassuring, providing quick fixes, or encouraging children to “stop worrying”. While well-intended, these well-meaning responses can backfire and feed the anxiety. Kids end up needing constant reassurance or get frustrated that worries keep returning no matter how hard they try to push them away. A tiny concern turns into a constant stream of “what ifs” running through their minds, and suddenly, shutting it off feels impossible.
This is where structured approaches to managing worry can be helpful. The goal isn’t to erase worry completely, but to help kids handle it—so they can feel in charge again. The Worry Time Technique is one simple, gentle way to help. It gives kids a set time to park their anxious thoughts in a set time slot instead of letting the thoughts roam through the whole day.
Understanding Anxiety in Children
Worrying itself is a normal emotion. We all worry at times, anxious thoughts help in keeping us away from harm. However, when these worries grow and are becoming distressing for a child it becomes a problem. Once anxiety takes over, the brain’s threat system—the fight-or-flight response—steps in. At that point, it’s tough for kids to think clearly or solve problems. Reassurance goes out the window. They react faster, emotions get bigger, and it’s harder to slow down or calm themselves. Worries loop over and over. Kids get stuck, and so do their parents. The cycle just keeps spinning.
When kids start worrying at bedtime, falling asleep turns into a real struggle. For these children, it can be helpful setting aside specific time for them to explore and talk through their worries. Here’s how you can use structured methods like the Worry Hour with your child.
The Evidence-Based Program Behind Structured Worry Time
Periodically, I see anxiety techniques circulating on social media platforms – sometimes framed as a special routine “families” use in various countries, supposedly backed by psychologists (though rarely with any referenced names). These posts grab attention and sound convincing, but it’s tough to tell what’s actually rooted in real psychological research and what’s just someone’s story, blown out of proportion, or made up entirely.
Regardless, The Worry Hour is grounded in evidence-based approaches to emotional regulation. It lines up with what cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) teaches about handling emotions.
What Is the Worry Time Technique?
Worry time is a simple strategy for helping anxious kids manage their worries. Worry Time gives these kids a way to take control. They learn to set aside a specific part of the day for worrying, which frees up the rest of their time, especially bedtime, for calmer, more positive thinking.
- Set aside a specific time each day for your child to worry. Decide how many times a day your child will have Worry Time and how long each session lasts. Generally once a day is sufficient.
- Work with your child to choose when this Worry Time happens. Don’t make it right before bed — that usually leads to trouble falling asleep. Maybe the 15 minutes before dinner works, or right after school. Write down exactly when your child’s Worry Time will be.
- Your child gets to pick: worry alone, or have you there.
- During Worry Time, your child can think about worries, write them down, or talk to you about them–Anything goes. You can spend some of this time working together to figure out ways to handle those worries.
- If your child starts to worry outside of Worry Time, remind them to save those worries for later.
One helpful way to support this is by using a worry box. Kids write down their worries and drop them into a box, literally putting their anxieties somewhere safe. It doesn’t pretend to make worry vanish, but it takes the edge off. Worries get set aside and revisited later, often with a trusted adult by their side. This simple act helps turn down the volume on anxious thoughts, so kids can get on with their day and sleep better at night—without old worries tagging along.
For a complete guide on creating a worry box, see example attached: Children’s Mercy Hospital Worry Box Guide
Important Things to Remember
As Worry Time wraps up, ask if there’s anything else on your child’s mind. Maybe they want to talk, or maybe just write things down to revisit later. If your child is too young to write, you can act as their “scribe,” writing down the worry as they say it. Then, agree on a way to say goodbye to those worries for now. Some kids like to:
- Tear up their worry notes
- Tuck them away in the Worry Box “like putting them to sleep”
- Imagine sending them far away on a cloud or balloon
Ending Worry Time the same way each time helps keep those worries in check. It keeps worries contained and reminds kids they can set those thoughts aside and get on with the rest of their day.
For families wanting more comprehensive tools, check out the Smiling Mind App. Developed in Australia, it’s built for anyone age five and up—kids, teens, adults, the whole family. The app offers practical skills that actually help build mental well-being and encourage healthy habits. It’s not new to this game, either. Smiling Mind has been around for twelve years, and all its programs come backed by solid research. Families love it, but it works just as well for individuals: https://www.smilingmind.com.au/
Final Thoughts
The goal isn’t to suppress anxiety but to contain it. The idea is to show kids that worries can have a designated time and place. When we do this, we’re training their brain to recognise that not every anxious thought is an emergency that needs solving right now.
Techniques such as worry time puts this into practice. They provide kids a way to set boundaries around their worries, which actually makes anxiety feel less urgent. This makes it easier for kids to settle into routines, especially at bedtime.
