It’s a quiet evening. Your teenager sits in their room, phone in hand, scrolling endlessly. Her phone pings with notifications from group chats and social media. They seem “connected” to the world, yet they seem distant at home.You wonder: Why does my child feel so lonely despite being more connected than ever?
As a parent, this question may tug at your heart. For teens themselves, the weight of loneliness can feel isolating, even when surrounded by peers. Loneliness, once stereotypically associated with the elderly, is now most prevalent among teenagers. In Australia,the numbers paint a stark picture of what many are calling Australia’s youth loneliness epidemic.
The Loneliness Epidemic Among Teens in Australia
A recent ReachOut survey of 660 young Australians aged 16-25 years found that 57% of young people are concerned, stressed, or worried about feeling lonely. The impact is significant, with 82% of those surveyed reporting moderate to major effects on their mental health and wellbeing. This loneliness manifests in sleep disturbances, mood changes, and strained relationships.
Data from the HILDA (Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia) report echoes this troubling trend. In 2021, more than 42% of Australians aged 15–24 were psychologically distressed, a dramatic increase from 18% a decade earlier. Loneliness among this age group has surpassed that of older adults, reversing previous trends.
Gender, sexuality, and location also play a role in young Australians’ experiences of loneliness:
- 69% of young women and 60% of non-binary youth feel lonely, compared to 40% of young men.
- 70% of LGBTQIA+ youth report loneliness, compared to 51% of their heterosexual peers.
- 65% of young people in regional and remote areas feel lonely, compared to 55% in major cities.
Why Are Teens Feeling More Lonely?
There is not one clear cause for rising loneliness.
1.The Rise of Living Expenses
Australia’s rising cost of living has a trickle-down effect on young people, particularly those from low-income families. When parents are overwhelmed with financial stress, it can unintentionally create an environment where teens feel unsupported or even burdensome. Many young people internalise this pressure, feeling guilty for asking to participate in social activities like outings, sports, or extracurriculars that cost money. The financial divide also deepens the gap between teens who can afford social engagement and those who cannot.
2. The Digital World: A Double-Edged Sword
Teens increasingly find it difficult to picture their lives without social media. The internet was supposed to bring us closer, but for many teens, it has had the opposite effect. Social media platforms, while offering a sense of connection, instead for some make people feel more inferior and excluded. Teens see curated highlights of their peers’ lives, such as photos of group outings, relationships, and achievements—and feel a growing sense of “missing out.” As inherently social beings, humans rely on connection and companionship to flourish. While being socially linked with others helps alleviate stress, worry, and melancholy, a lack of social connection can pose major threats to one’s mental health.
It can particularly be challenging during formative years, when peers are forming relationships and building social circles. Some young people find their only friendships are made online, and they often face questions from family members who don’t understand. They might hear comments like, ‘Why don’t you just go out and make friends?’ The harsh reality for these teenagers makes them feel more misunderstood and even more disconnected.
Who’s Most Affected?
Loneliness doesn’t impact everyone equally. Certain groups are more vulnerable to feeling disconnected, including:
- LGBTQIA+ Teens: Around 70% of LGBTQIA+ young people in Australia report experiencing loneliness, compared to 51% of their heterosexual peers. The lack of acceptance and understanding in some environments leaves many feeling like they have no safe space to connect authentically. The recent edict issued from newly elected USA president Donald Trump that only 2 biological genders will now be recognised in their country, therein halting diversity programs, has understandably caused considerable distress for many people, further isolating some teens.
- Neurodivergent Teens: Many teens with autism or ADHD struggle to form friendships in a world that doesn’t always accommodate their social and sensory needs. They often face rejection, misunderstanding, and exhaustion from trying to “fit in”. The constant effort to conform can be draining, often leading them to withdraw and self-isolate as a way to protect their well-being.
- Teens in Regional and Remote Areas: Loneliness is amplified for those living outside major cities, with 65% of regional teens reporting higher levels of isolation compared to 55% of their urban counterparts. Limited access to social opportunities and mental health resources exacerbates their sense of disconnection.
What Can We Do to Help?
Helping teens navigate loneliness requires more than just telling them to “go outside” or “join a club.” It’s about creating environments where they feel seen, supported, and understood. Here’s how we can make a difference:
1. Validate Their Feelings
Start by listening. Avoid dismissing their feelings with phrases like, “You’re just being dramatic,” or “Everyone feels like this at your age.” Acknowledging their emotions builds trust and opens the door for honest conversations. If teens don’t have an environment where they feel sufficiently ‘safe’ to share their thoughts and feelings, it will only serve to increase their sense of isolation and mask/hide that they are struggling.
2. Encourage Real-Life Connection
While online friends can be a lifeline, real-life interactions are irreplaceable. Even simple things like studying together or going for a walk can feel better than chatting online. Encourage teens to participate in community activities, volunteer projects, or interest-based groups where they can meet people who like the same things they do. If cost is a concern, look for free or low-cost activities in your community. Libraries, local councils, and youth organisations often run programs designed to engage teens at little to no expense.
3. Foster Inclusivity
For teens who feel “different,” whether they are neurodivergent or LGBTQIA+ individuals or neurotypicals, it’s important to create inclusive spaces where they feel safe to be themselves, to truly be able to express themselves. For schools, they can make Safe Spaces where kids can hang out safely after school. Share where to get help and make sure everyone knows about places like ReachOut where they can obtain support.
4. Make Phone-Free Time
At home, set times when everyone puts their phones away and talks to each other, like during dinner or family game night. Just 30 mins can be sufficient as a starting point. While banning phones isn’t realistic (or helpful), setting boundaries around screen time usage can encourage teens to explore offline activities. Please note, care-givers will need to model this behaviour first, to increase ‘buy-in’ from their teen.
Final Thoughts
Teen loneliness isn’t just an Australian problem—it’s a global crisis. However, Australia’s unique cultural landscape amplifies certain challenges. The isolation of regional areas, the stigma around mental health, and the pressures of an increasingly competitive society all contribute to the loneliness epidemic. As parents, educators, and community members, we have a role to play in creating environments where young people feel seen, heard, and valued.
Addressing loneliness is not about eliminating solitude but fostering and in turn, enhancing connections that are meaningful and fulfilling. By working together, we can ensure our teens have the support they need to thrive.
If you or someone you know is struggling with loneliness, help is available. Visit ReachOut Australia for resources and support, or contact New Directions Psychology to connect with a compassionate professional.
