Many neurodivergent people have heightened sensory experiences. Vibrant lights, busy crowds, intertwining conversations, and the aroma of festive cooking can overwhelm the senses. Although some people may find these joyful, they have the potential to cause distress for others.
Picture this: You walk into a room filled with blinking lights, multiple conversations are happening at once, and someone hands you a plate of unfamiliar food with a strong aroma. Many neurodivergent individuals find such a situation overwhelming and anxiety-inducing, rather than enjoyable and merry.
Social Expectations During Festive Gatherings
Social interactions can be challenging for individuals who communicate or connect with people differently. Individuals who are neurodivergent may find it challenging to navigate the implicit norms of casual conversation, understanding when to participate in discussions, or interpreting nonverbal signals. The pressure to interact socially may result in stress or feelings of exclusion if their attempts to connect aren’t understood or reciprocated.
The Pressure of Change
For many neurodivergent individuals, routines offer a sense of comfort and predictability. The festive season, with its ever-changing schedules, travel plans, and unexpected surprises, can seem chaotic. While some may find excitement in spontaneity, it can cause unease for those who require structure.
Tips for Inclusive Festive Environment
1. Prepare Ahead of Time
Preparing ahead of time can greatly reduce anxiety for neurodivergent people during the festive season.
- Share the Plan: Where possible give a thorough plan of the day’s agenda, such as meal times and activities. Provide alternative plans in case changes are likely.
- Utilise Visual Aids: For kids, think about making a visual timetable using images or symbols for various activities.
- Set Expectations: : If known, talk about the plans for the event, such as who will attend and any sensory aspects, like music or decorations.
2. Create a Sensory Retreat
A quiet, designated space where a neurodivergent individual can retreat when feeling overwhelmed can make a huge difference.
- Choose a Calm Location: It could be a spare room for visitors, a tranquil nook, or even a spot outside.
- Stock Up on Comforting Items: Include items like noise-cancelling headphones, cozy blankets, and beloved books. Allow the individual to personalise the space if possible.
- Respect Privacy: Show consideration for others by clearly indicating that this area is not to be accessed and is meant for as a sanctuary.
3. Be Mindful of Sensory Inputs
Adjusting sensory elements of the celebration can help neurodivergent loved ones feel more at ease.
- Control Noise Levels: Limit background noise like loud music and multiple conversations happening at the same time. Think about using gentle lighting rather than bright, flickering decorations.
- Offer Familiar Foods: Even though special meals are usually exciting, having familiar, preferred foods available can make it easier for individuals with sensory sensitivities to enjoy.
- Refrain from Strong Scents: Minimise the use of scented candles, air fresheners, or heavily perfumed decorations, as they may be too intense for some people.
4. Encourage Routine and Familiarity
Preserving elements of routine can provide a sense of stability during the festivities.
- Maintain Key Routines: Stick to regular meal and bedtime schedules as much as possible.
- Include Familiar Activities: Incorporate activities such as games, shows, or other traditions that the neurodivergent individual already enjoys.
- Bring Comfort Items: Encourage them to bring their preferred toys, blankets, or tools eg fidget toys that help them self-regulate.
5. Foster Open Communication
Open dialogue is key to understanding and meeting the needs of your neurodivergent loved one.
- Ask for Preferences: Whether it’s about seating arrangements, activities, or sensory accommodations, involve them in decisions where possible.
- Respect Their Choices: If they decline certain activities, respect their boundaries without judgement.
- Check In Regularly: Throughout the gathering, ask how they’re feeling and if they need adjustments.
6. Adjust Social Expectations
Being able to adapt in social situations can help neurodivergent individuals feel more comfortable.
- Reconsider Hugs and Handshakes: Always ask for permission before engaging in physical touch, and be understanding if they prefer other forms of greeting.
- Limit Forced Participation: Allow them to opt out of group activities without pressure or guilt.
- Value Shared Interests: Encourage interactions based on shared interests rather than relying solely on small talk.
7. Reframe Gift-Giving
Gift-giving traditions can be adapted to reduce stress and anxiety.
- Offer Advance Notice: Let neurodivergent loved ones know if they’re expected to open gifts in front of others.
- Simplify Wrapping: Use easy-to-open wrapping paper or gift bags to avoid frustration.
- Focus on Thoughtfulness: Choose gifts based on their specific interests, showing that their preferences are valued.
Celebrating Neurodiversity
The goal is not to “fix” or “normalise” neurodivergent experiences but to create an environment of genuine understanding, respect, and acceptance. When we make an effort to understand and meet diverse needs, we strengthen relationships, reduce misunderstandings, and create a space where everyone feels valued.
Final Thoughts
During the holidays, it is a time to come together and celebrate love, connection, and shared traditions. For neurodivergent individuals, these gatherings can be an opportunity to bond with loved ones, provided their unique needs are respected and accommodated. By planning ahead, fostering open communication, and making small but meaningful adjustments you can establish a space where all individuals feel valued and accepted.
